We’ve all had those voices in our head, saying negative things about us, jabbing our minds with our fears and insecurities.
This week, I was re-reading one of my favourite books and once again, I forgot the characters were fictional (if you haven’t lusted over a character in a book – you’re lying). All of a sudden, I started comparing myself to one of the main characters, thinking horrible things about myself. It’s not about the actual character, it was mainly about the people she represented in real life.
Then I realized, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we let small things make these big impacts on us? Things we make up in our mind? I, for one, am tired of it. We need to take some initiative. We are not defined by our flaws. At the end of the day, I realized that I am my #1 supporter. No one is ever going to love you as much as you do. So here are some small tips I created, that I hope you will use and maybe start to see some differences in yourself, just as I am trying to do.
How to Make Your Mind a Happier Place:
1) Take 10-15 minutes a day and relax. Get away from your computer, television, cellphones and anything electronic. Use this website to take your relaxation experience to the next level. I promise it’s great!
2) Do fun things more often. Whatever you like, whether it’s playing sports or going shopping. Try to schedule more fun things in your life. It doesn’t have to extraordinary things like mountain biking or river rafting. For example, I just like to watch my favourite comedy movies and dance around (horribly out of rhythm but happily) with my iPod.
3) Stop trying to be someone else. We all have moments when we wish we could be sexier, bolder, and more confident. But here’s the thing: It’s not about being someone else completely, it’s about opening yourself up to new things and being a better version of yourself. I know it’s hard to think you can be sexy, but if you don’t think you can be, no one else will. You need to trust yourself. If it doesn’t work out the way you want it to, there will be more days and new people. If you try your best, you never really fail.
4) Stop saying negative things about people! When you allow your mind to be criticize other people harshly, you have even less restraint when it starts attacking you. It just creates such a negative vibe, and I’m pretty sure you don’t know those people 100%. Everyone has secrets, and everyone chooses what they show to the world. That does not mean that that’s who they are, maybe it’s just one layer of them. Stop judging people and be more open. Smile. You never regret smiling, but you do regret words that you don’t mean. Try this experiment: Don’t say a negative thing about anyone for three hours, three days, three months. I’m not saying I’m perfect, I had to start over a bunch of times. Maybe, you’ll even try it for your whole life.
All in all, please just give yourself a break. You deserve happiness and you deserve all the dreams you dream for, all the love you wait for and all the experiences you crave for. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy and you’re going to be riding on unicorns on rainbows forever, but you need to realize that you’re not a horrible, ugly person. You are not your fears and insecurities. Take a walk, drink some tea, and take the steps you think are necessary to create a more positive and fulfilling life.