What can I say about you? You will be missed but not forgotten.
When you began, I started out on a positive and determined note. I still have the notebook I used to write down all of my goals to achieve and mantras to follow.
Looking at those pages now, it is bittersweet. The issue is not that I didn’t accomplish my goals; quite the contrary. I got my first job writing for a blog, became the editor of a local newspaper on campus, became a blogger for College Fashion, volunteered as an Orientation Leader at Frosh Week (which was super scary at first but I ended up having a lot of fun) and started writing creatively again after a long writer’s block. Resume-wise, my life could not have appeared any better.
All of those experiences had their ups but the downs are obviously what crushed me the most. While some of them naturally did not suit me, I realized that I also turned them sour when I envisioned a specific way they should turn out. When things didn’t go the way I wanted them to, I shut down. I was left feeling lost and rejected.
Over the past few weeks I’ve been able to separate myself from school and take a deep look at my life. What I’ve learned is that you can’t force things to happen a certain way. Even if it feels like your heart is breaking into a million pieces, you have to trust that you’ll be at peace soon, and it will come to you. I’m tired of reaching out to people who won’t reach for me and investing in projects that won’t invest in me back. I have so much love and support to offer that I refuse to waste my time with people and entities that do not see that.
I want to simply ride the waves next year, and embrace what is happening (or not happening) in my life. I know I’m meant for something more. For 2016, I plan to soak up as much as I can, regardless of the circumstances. I know that the time will come when I’ll be able to get to a place of complete tranquility and harmony. 💕
Sincerely ya girl,
What did 2015 teach you?